"Whether it comes to finances (bill handling and choice of expenses becomes an issue), intimacy (you're not sexually compatible), religion (especially when it comes to certain holidays), kids (where one person may want children and the other doesn't), or other issues, [if] you two are just not clicking on major topics," you're not with 'The One,'" relationship trainer Daniel Amis tells Bustle.In the best of times and the worst of times alike, we want a partner who is able to show up.
the selfsame things that start to repel you," says Sansone-Braff."Highlight what attracted you in the first place, and then follow up with the reasons that it won't work long-term." They might agree, she adds: "While they are likely to be hurt, it's possible that they've been feeling the same thing, and just hadn't figured out how to say it to you." First, here are 11 signs that the person you're with is not "The One.""If you're in a relationship with someone and feel like you need to censor yourself, or stifle parts of who you are to make it work, that's a red flag that they may not be 'The One'," says Boykin.You should be comfortable with being exactly who you are — goofy, weird, beautiful, funny, awkward you."Forget what Jerry Maguire said — a healthy love doesn't complete you, it complements you."If "you don't trust or respect your partner, or they don't trust or give respect to you," says Amis, this is a near-impossible problem to fix."Once trust and respect is lost, then so is the relationship," he says."For example, at first you liked the expensive clothes and jewelry she wore, but then you realize that she's a spendaholic; or you liked the way he put you above his career, and then you come to realize he is lazy and just plain hates working, and he wouldn't mind one bit if you would let him quit working.so that you could begin supporting him." If you find yourself unsettled by the way your partner is, and disinterested in being understanding of them and trying to figure out how to make things work, they may not be a good fit for you. It could be their beliefs." Whatever the case may be, a good match is someone who has habits, attitudes and beliefs that you like — or that you can understand and respect.Slowly, as time goes on, your lives will meld in some ways, but it's still vital to keep your own hobbies, goals, etc."Be sure they have their own life and interests," says Boykin.They will motivate you to be the best version of you — not a completely different person." If you feel silenced in any way by your partner, bring it up immediately. It happens sometimes: "You just come to know in your heart of hearts that no matter how perfect and wonderful this person may be, and no matter how much you wish with every fiber of your being that you could actually love this person …[he or she] is not the right one for you," Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Grant Me a Higher Love and Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships, tells Bustle.