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The world was beside itself about the latest presidential scandal, this one involving an affair with a then-21-year-old intern—the juiciest story to break in my adult life, a salacious tale of alleged infidelity between the most powerful man in the Milky Way and a girl named Monica. A girl I'd gone out on a date with a few weeks before.

I hesitate here, because I have no desire to appear on Hard Copy or banter with MSNBCeebees, and, essentially, I feel bad for poor Monica and feel unclean adding my feeble barnacle to her ship of fame.

I walked in, checked out the crowd, and immediately headed for Doug, the owner. Who knew what the truth was in the shark-infested White House waters? Monica wasn't like that, peppering her monologue with questions for me and actually listening with interest to the responses.

I chatted and drank with him, and, in an effort to make myself as unapproachable as possible, I started shooting pool with him. "The one in the black." "You're drunk," said Maloni, a rugby pretty boy. I've been "friends" with a bunch of people who work at 1600 Pennsylvania and have seldom trusted anything they say. She didn't strike me as a classic climber—just a woman looking for a decent, challenging job and a happy life to go with it.

Although I will admit to an odd weave of loathing and envy when I watch the blabbocracy breathlessly weighing in—Hey, I think, they don't even know this chick. A warm patch of water in an otherwise chilly ocean.

But the fucking barracuda just hover, and wait, and wait. "Everyone is dying to hear about your date with Monica Lewinsky!

Maybe I returned to the rag-colored atmosphere of D. too quickly, but I'm feeling mighty queasy about this one.

I don't know Monica much better than you know the person in the next cube, but she's not a mug shot and a punch line to me.

" He seemed far more crazed than she, but even if the whole thing is unadulterated bullion, I still feel sorry for her.

3.) As most of us believe, it was some hazy amalgam of the first two choices, a disconcerting land where Chuck Robb's oral-sex-is-OK rules and Monica was addled by a close brush with power. No matter which curtain you pick, there are dozens of people I've met in this town with empty, self-serving, loathsome characters who deserve life-ruining scandals long before Monica does.

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