He probably can't remember the last time he had a good time. Somewhere in between platonic-like touching and mauling makes a divorced guy happy. Chances are, the last few months (or years) of his marriage weren't fun. He doesn't want you plopping yourself down on his lap and making out at the dinner table at a fancy restaurant. Unlike guys before marriage, divorced guys aren't into games. Some divorced church-goers try to convince themselves that God's command to abstain from sex doesn't apply to them — that it's for the never-married crowd.However, Scripture is clear that it doesn't matter if someone has been married or not, sex with someone other than your spouse is still fornication (I Thessalonians 4:3, I Corinthians 6:9). Chances are, when your guy was married, his wife wasn't very nice to him. Whatever the situation was, at the end of the marriage, she was most likely anything but sugary sweet. She is also the author of the comedic novel, FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE about life after divorce. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter for the Pioneer Press, with the monthly column, "Heart of the North Shore." She lives in Chicago with her two kids.Don't wait to put some practical boundaries in place, such as not staying at your date's home overnight.
When Becky asked him how long he'd been divorced, he admitted that it wasn't final yet, that he was living in the basement of the home that he and his wife shared, and that they'd only been separated for three weeks.
Becky gently told her date that he needed to first pursue emotional and spiritual healing. But dating so soon will almost inevitably lead to heartache, since he's neither emotionally nor legally available.
She suggested that he develop relationships with other Christian men for support, rather than seek out women for emotional comfort. And, until he heals, he won't be able to relax and commit his entire heart to his new partner the way God intends.
With divorced guys, there's a fine line when it comes to how much affection they want to be shown. They want cheek kisses and hand holding and hugs and an arm around them at times. No need to wait two days so he will think you're cool. He's trying to spend time with his own kids, who he sees so much less than he did when he was married.
Let the whole kid thing breathe, and it will happen naturally.