We've lived together and now we aren't because I decided I needed to move home to get my career on the right path.
By the time I found out the reality of the situation, we had already fallen deeply in love and committed. Right now we're having a lot of communication issues and everything seems like a power-struggle these days. Some divorces go through quick as my cousins was a month some take longer and others well they don't even start the process as they don't have to and they hang on to the old. He is already showing some deception by not coming clean that he was newly separated, not divorced as you thought.
We chose to stay married but do our own thing, live our own lives, an open marriage of sorts until he retires which he did this past June.
There were never any secrets, my partner knew my situation from the very beginning and is fine with it, stbxh knows all about my partner.
I feel like Im in too deep already and I dont know which way to turn. I think it depends on different things, how he's handling the divorce emotionally, if he's ready to move on to a new relationship yet, how complicated the divorce is.
You saying he's mentally all over the place, that would be a red flag to me.