Please do not cheat yourselves out of this because of divorce.Reply Hi,even though I have heard all this from my therapist I still can not get past it.Reply While I am currently experiencing number three on your list of what not to do, "Rewrite history", by imagining that everything was always cheery, I find that my wife is experiencing number three in reverse. deep down i want this to work out and the truth is she and i are severly not right for each other. She no longer speaks to anyone from her past it's like she has a new life at 42 , I think she has gone insane Reply My world crunbled about 6 months ago when my (now ex) wife told me she wanted a divorce. Reply My divorce was finalized at the end of January, though we split of up 3 years ago. Or maybe my sadness is because I feel like I let my daughter down.She keeps telling me how I put her through ten torturous years of marriage, and how me finally moving out was the best day of her life, and how she is so much happier now. I suspected that she had (or still has) an emotional affair. She remarried recently and I can't seem to move on. Either way, I can shake this feeling of blame, even though we're approaching the 4th year of being split up, and with her being remarried, etc.I believe that was just the eexcuse to get out of the marriage.
Reply My hubby left me 2 months ago and man it has been tough, being in a 5 and half years marriage. It was a bad move which I regret from this day but he was okay after being seen by the emergency room. So it's been 2 months no contact, only known he's staying with his mate and chances of reconciliation is out of the window. Reply I feel for each and everyone who is devastated by divorce.The person has to do it on their own, and on their own timetable.Sure, there are things you can do to TRY to get over your ex–like see a therapist, engage in a new hobby, find faith, exercise, start volunteering, focus on career, etc. and they might help, but the letting go part is all up to you.Earlier in the marriage she told me she was unfaithful and begged for forgiveness, which I did.She was not as considerate and said she could not forgive.She keeps telling the kids, "We are all going to be happier now", but I keep thinking that only she is. Be very kind and friendly, but distant-like an acquaintence/business associate. I am somewhat older than she and had just retired, only to have my life turned upside down and inside out. I have had to learn the hard way (several times) that you "never go full retard". But, as you so aptly stated, some people just have the ability to flip that switch and be done.Three people have to become unhappy for her to gain her happiness. Reply They say the first/biggest step in not repeating bad behavior is recognizing it. Do you really deserve having someone play games with your heart like that? Reply "There are 6 billion people on this planet" - I've heard that before - however, half are male, millions are too old or too young, millions are not attractive, and I am in the middle of a West Texas town with very few women. That "switch" is merely the ability to not go full retard. There is a strength in independence that I never knew before.I WANT to be over it—over him, but I just don’t know how to do it.” I felt sorry for her because I get it.No one can help a person get over their ex-husband/ex-wife.My wife and I were married for 30 years together 33 years.At 57 now I a have been living alone last 31/2 years and I am still in as much pain as I was that very first day I had to move out.