If they’re typically emotionally unavailable or just the type that likes to be in a relationship, they won’t be good at being on their own but may be operating under the misguided notion that if you’re special enough that they’ll magically get over their ex and be available to you, which is pretty damn lazy.If you have been involved with a Transitional, you are a Buffer, the person that lessens the impact of the fallout from their previous relationship.I have been with my “rebound” partner for over a year now and although I have no intentions of considering marriage for at least a few years…I do sincerely believe that this is the person I am meant to be with (and thankfully he feels the same way).If you’ve ever found yourself involved with someone that’s recently broken up, still not over their ex, separated, divorced, or widowed, they’re a Transitional, someone with emotional and/or legal a relationship ending, which means that they may not be over their ex, are still going through grieving the loss of the relationship/person and are struggling with their feelings about commitment and being emotionally available.Many of us enter into a relationship simply because it’s better than being alone. You simply can not assume to know how everyone’s individual experience is going to unfold.In your pre-divorce days, and soon again now that you’re moving through divorce, you had high standards for the people you trusted. Most people emerge from divorce with the boundaries lowered. They LUNGE for help, and their judgment gets clouded about which relationships are likely to have the most staying power. I speak from my own personal experience with love and the “rebound relationship” I had after my marriage.It doesn’t matter whether it’s that they’re scared shitless of commitment or intimacy or whether they’re moping after their ex or creeping around behind your back having talks with them; they’re unavailable.They’ve overestimated their capacity for a relationship and pushed down their feelings about their ex because they use you, albeit not always intentionally, to help you get them through this transition.
Hey, he deals with his pain one way, you deal with yours another. It’s almost like you’re Heartbreak Hotel or Emotional Rehab.You may not fully realise your role but you’re basically helping them get over their ex with the view that when they are over them, your compassion and support will be rewarded with the relationship you want. Often too compassionate and likely to make yourself indispensable by trying to be and do everything that you think they need in order to be distracted from their transition, you hide your commitment resistance behind theirs.I think they’re an important part of the healing process.Nearly everyone who emerges from divorce does so with nagging doubts about whether he or she is attractive enough, sexy enough, or charming enough to find a life mate. Just please, please, please, don’t confuse it with love. Can a relationship formed in the wake of divorce I came across your website and was particularly interested in the section you included on “rebound relationships”.Just because he's seeing someone else doesn't mean he isn't heartbroken over you.When I use the words "men" and "rebound" in the same sentence, male minds might quickly conjure up thoughts of their favorite NBA teams.Women, however, understand that I am addressing the phenomenon of rushing into a new relationship after the dissolution of an old one.And while men aren't the only ones guilty of this relationship ricochet, they are, by far, the most-likely to engage in this particular type of reactionary behavior.You may even substitute being indispensable for actually being intimate in your relationship, which is why I hear from so many women in particular that have practically turned themselves into skivvies, sexual play things, and bankrollers in barely there relationships.In trying to prove your worth and ‘win’ their affections, you compete with their ex, old life, baggage etc and end up being boggled if not downright infuriated and indignant that they can’t give you what they appear to have given to others.