There are many reasons why, including therapy, antidepressants, and weight loss and subsequent surgery—but I would have to say that the big reason is communication.
If you had known us 25 years ago, Dan, you would not have given us good odds.
If I had a partner who was unwilling to talk about sex or try to fix it, I'd kick his ass to the curb without blinking.
So with the help of counseling, I got him on board with dirty talk during sex (because it's important for me) and I worked (and still work) on telling him what to do when we bone.
We'd been dating only a year and a half when we got engaged, and we'd known each other less than two years.
I was a virgin, my wife was not, together we hadn't gotten much past second base, and neither of us had laid our kink cards on the table.
In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our marriage.When I met my wife, our sex life was okay—but I was never fully present, because I would have to concentrate on my fantasies in order to sustain an erection. My wife knew I was masturbating in the middle of the night instead of having sex with her, and that led to some enormous fights.So I told her about my kink, fully expecting that it would result in the collapse of my marriage.For me, being comfortable with my husband and secure in the relationship made it so much easier to communicate and work on fixing the problems together.It sounds cheesy, but marriage counseling really helped.This website is designed for ADULTS only and is not suited for children.If you are not old enough to drink, you most likely shouldn't be here. Now is the time Official Minecraft Trailer - You Tube Minecraft is not your thing?at first but—holy moly—the sex got a fuck of a lot better after the wedding," I wrote in my response to IMDONE.I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.I was a very experienced woman (five years as a swinger and partners numbering in the high double digits) when I first met the man who would become my husband. We also had an amazing friendship, and we were never as happy apart as we were together. We went from once a month to a couple times a week. It's not as frequent as it once was, but it's really good when we have it. Am I the first or the hundredth person to write in? I suspect you don't see it in your inbox very often because this isn't what most people would consider a problem and we don't want to waste your time!It helped that we shared some kinks and were both up for what we agreed would be a nice and mostly companionate marriage. Turns out he needed that emotional attachment to feel safe and secure enough to open up and relax and enjoy himself. All it took for the sex to get better was practice and paying attention to cues and solving problems.