In an abusive relationship, there are no options: the only thing to do is to leave, and if that isn't possible, to seek protection.", which is now one of the most widely-read articles on my website.
Readers regularly write me email responses (summarized in a follow-up article) and post their own stories in the Asian kids and parents discussion forum.
Your outfit needs to be subjected to intense scrutiny before you are even allowed to step out the door. And that any topic relating to all three is always followed with a litany from your mom, which usually goes on for hours.
Your dad even helped you pick out your first ever e-mail address. “What if they smell it on my clothes and think it was me?
…only to realize that it was your dad’s way of making sure you didn’t have any romantic dates growing up. She will sit there and watch you intently until you take that pill.
And first your mom subjected you to an interrogation of where, why, and with whom. Sometimes also referred to as “no dating until you’re married” policy.
And also, being the first one to go home every single time.
In the three years since writing that article, I've received lots of email responses and discussion forum messages from the perspective of young adults who have been oppressed by their parents.
This article attempts to explore the other perspective—the parents' motivations and feelings—to help kids better understand and deal with their own parents.
"You mention nothing at all about getting high school or university counsellors, or Child Protective Services (or the local equivalent), or even the police involved, but for many people in abusive relationships, getting an external authority involved is the right thing to do.
And you know that getting one would probably result in both of them having a heart attack.
Emotional blackmail has always been a strong suit of theirs.